The Power of Perspective
originally published jan 18 2022
We were stretched out like satisfied cats in the warm slant of autumnal sun coming through the sheer curtains, still catching our breath in each other’s embrace. The quiet transition from early to mid-morning was upon us, which meant the unfortunate end we dreaded was close behind. Our comfort in both idle chatter and content silence was a luxury we wanted to soak in before the clock informed him of his impending duties.
Our time, as usual, had flown by. It always does when you’re connecting with someone like that, in the early pre-rush of Monday work, snuggling into white hotel beds as if you could live there forever. Oh, Mondays. We love to hate them. He turned to me.
“Well, after a start like that, the rest of the week is downhill. How could anything live up to this?”
I paused, then smiled.
“Or, what if instead, it’s a good omen for the rest of the week? If your Monday, the worst of all the weekdays, can be this good, then doesn’t the rest of the week hold potential to improve?”
He laughed.
“You’re right. That’s a much better perspective. I like that.”
He departed shortly after, with a little more pep in his step than he had when he entered my room. I yawned and climbed back in bed, eager to melt into the bliss for just a little longer before starting my own day.
It’s a small thing, the power of perspective. Yet, it makes the biggest difference. How often do we experience something and immediately start yearning for its continuation, mourning its end while we are still in the thick of it? What if we committed to being in the present moment, and saved the grief for later? What if instead of assuming “it can only go downhill from here,” we took a middle approach? If it can go downhill, it can also go uphill. It’s not a guarantee, and I’d scoff at anyone who said you could simply think your way into a better life, but there is something to the philosophy of hope being a guiding force. It’s more motivating to have a reward than a punishment, after all. If the reward is good enough.
What if the reward was inner peace? What if the reward was sustained happiness and brightness? A tall order, perhaps. But shifting perspective is one step toward that type of life. Choosing to see an incredible experience on an ordinary Monday morning as a starting point, rather than an ending point, can change the whole week. Instead of going into his work week missing the high of our encounter, and thusly comparing everything to it (which would lead to utter despair at the realization that nothing really could stand up to what we shared), my lover could approach his work week with some gratitude. Wow, he might think to himself, that was a Monday for the ages. If Monday is that good, surely Tuesday can only be better. Now I feel energized, seen, and satisfied. Now I feel more patient, more calm, more generous.
That energy he brings into his week is going to have an impact on the people around him. His inner peace and generosity will attract that energy back. And his week will get better – because people cyclically feed off each other’s energy. It may sound woo-woo, but think about it. How many times were you having a good day and then found yourself souring after an encounter with a bitter, upset person? Conversely, how many times have you found yourself impatient or aggravated over someone taking too long to help you, and then had them turn to greet you with brightness, a smile, kindness, that immediately made you relax and realize it was no big deal? We sense each other this way, and it’s much easier to meet one another with compassion when we bring hope and joy into our interactions.
This is what the power of perspective offers us. These days, I call myself “an optimistic existentialist.” With a hint of nihilism – nothing matters, so we must make our own meaning, and isn’t that a wonderful opportunity? Isn’t it amazing that we get to choose every single thing we do, every single day? Isn’t it incredible that you can choose to spend your morning having a playful romp with an enthusiastic companion before you enter your work week? Don’t you want to experience the powerful high of shifting your perspective?
The best part of seeing a companion with this philosophy? We make perfect endcaps to the week, no matter how it went. Bad week? Spending time with someone who is engaged, compassionate, and sexy, doing something fun like going to dinner or a show, is a great way to cheer yourself up. Had a great week? I could think of worse ways to celebrate accomplishments…
I hope you’re all having a fantastic week, and if you’re not, I hope you know it can get better – and you’ve got at least one person on your side over here, cheering you on.
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