Why Women Should Hire Escorts

originally published nov 29 2021

You’re a confident woman with a busy schedule. Your career is demanding but fulfilling and lucrative. You ignite when faced with formidable femmes who tease you with fox-like smiles. You are a lustful creature with absolutely zero time for traditional dating.

You’re in a sexless marriage or partnership and you just haven’t been touched in so long. You think you may have forgotten what it is to be desired. You ache to have someone look at you in that certain way that says I want to tear your clothes off.

You’re a queer person with a generally active and healthy romantic and social life, but the pandemic has done a number on your stamina for meeting new people, and your willingness to put yourself out there. You have a couple of specific kinks you kind of want to try, but you’re nervous to bring it up with new people, and it takes a while to trust someone with something so intimate as a new kink.

You’re a heterosexual woman, or at least that’s what you thought, though lately you can’t get the idea of a woman’s soft curves pressed against you on a nightclub floor, or cradling the small of your back on your way into a restaurant. You want to try something you’ve never tried before (unless making out with your sorority sister once in college counts…), but you don’t even know how to begin. You’re self-conscious about your lack of experience, but how can you get experience without putting yourself out there?

You’re a provider yourself, who swings all ways and is tired of regular dating. Work has taught you about the importance of boundaries, and you find your standards impossibly high when going out with civilians. You just want to be around someone who gets it without having to explain yourself all the time – and you know exactly what you want – deep intimacy with no strings.

The stereotype about this industry is that it’s only “lonely old men” who hire providers. I can confirm with absolute certainty that this isn’t true. In fact, I find it difficult to conjure even one client I’ve met who fits that bill. People see providers for all sorts of reasons, yet it’s still somehow even more taboo for women to imagine themselves in the role of the client. 

The beauty of this life is that it belongs exclusively to you. You are actually allowed to do whatever the fuck you want. I know American culture can be confusingly pornographic and purtianical at the same time, and women in particular are told that our desires are shameful – that our yearning is a sin. But you and I know better, don’t we? 

Some of us yearn for the soft darkness between a woman’s thighs. Some of us desire simply the way her perfume wafts across the dinner table, the way the candlelight sparks shadows across her lips. Some, still, just need to be held for a moment longer than we have time for on the weekdays when the office awaits.

Women (frankly, anyone of any gender) should hire a provider if that’s what will make them happy. When was the last time you were able to show up to a date and have everything you wanted happen, effortlessly? Where you felt taken care of and seen, appreciated and wanted? The possibilities for new experiences, stimulating conversation, even more stimulating touch...are endless. Women should feel liberated to explore the depths of their sexuality, their sensuality, without shame or hesitation.

And yes, it can be nerve-wracking to send that first email. To pick someone you think will understand you. To send that screening info and get the ball rolling. I truly get it – I myself have been through the process of hiring another woman for myself. What I found at the end of my experience was that not only was it worth it, it was incredibly healing. It was everything I needed but was afraid to ask for in a standard dating situation. It reminded me that there are no guidelines for how to live this life.

What’s stopping you from fulfilling your desires?  Just reach out and touch – for a little while, or a weekend. 

“You came and I was longing for you.

You cooled a heart that burned with desire.” ~ Sappho

I’ll be waiting for your love letter.